My Cloverfield story - CLOVER "In the eyes of Teddy"

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There might be some grammatical errors. Whatever. Just read it and tell me what you think.

C L O V E R
written and edited by Pr0LiFiX

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based on the popular movie by Bad Robot and Paramount Pictures
“Cloverfield”

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I don't think it was supposed to turn out this way. I consider myself a double-agent. I work for Tagruato and TIDOwave for various reasons. Gerry said I was supposed to get this package for him. I was supposed to slip into one of the supervisors room and break into one of their deposits, trying to find something even I know nothing about. You'd think that even though I'm on this “oil rig” that it'd be easy. You'll soon find out that it's harder than you think. The place is wired with Tagruato's personal mercenaries. Ever since our group has been putting pressure on the company, things have been going crazy. It's gotten weird, to be exact. Something strange is definitely going on. Rumors keep circulating around the rig about how Ganu Yoshida and this kid named Kishin found something. There was supposed to be a bunch of Tagruato tankers transporting the thing over to the oil rig but we've lost contact with them an hour ago. I talked to one of the Tagruato mercs and they've all been telling me the same thing, “we've lost contact with the beast”.

The beast? Did he just say what I thought he said? That's what they're carrying?

Much to my surprise, I had to contact Gerry and tell him what was going on. This beast that Tagruato has been carrying along supposedly escaped and was most likely heading this way. I ran outside and looked alongside the ocean. It was calm. Maybe too calm. Storm clouds were gathering and shouts were coming from the bottom deck. All of a sudden the entire foundation of the oil rig was shaking. I grabbed onto anything I could hold onto to support myself. Then I heard the explosions. One, two, three – they all went off like gunshots. All of a sudden, I heard a loud roar, a strange ancient roar and then screaming from the crew. One of the support beams that held up the oil rig was collapsing. I rolled off from the oil rig and fell into the ocean, feeling a sudden stab of cold water travel all over my body. I screamed out for help. It seemed as if something was underneath me, but I wasn't sure.

I saw something move. Something big penetrated the surface of the water and rose into the air like a mighty god. It was grey, with big stalking arms that grasped the support beams of the oil rig. With one faint swipe of the wrist it sent the oil rig crashing into the ocean. I saw a helicopter in the sky. The monster, pissed as hell, gazed at the flying contraption and roared. I saw it open it's mouth and cry at the helicopter. The pilot was obviously scared shitless. And I could've sworn I saw Ganu Yoshida and Kishin somewhere in the helicopter. The monster took a piece of the oil rig, a large piece of metal and hurled it at the helicopter. With a powerful, bright explosion, the helicopter and it's remaining pieces hit the ocean. Ganu was dead and so was the kid. I grabbed onto a floating piece of metal and held onto it for safety, some solitude, for hope of trying to stay alive. The monster turned to face me and then it submerged into the ocean. I could feel something move alongside the ocean depths.

There was a safety raft full of people making it's way from the destruction. They were scared, and I could have sworn I saw some Tagruato mercs alongside the group of scared individuals. Out of nowhere the monster's roar traveled throughout the area. What I saw next completely took me by surprise. One by one, heavy debris shot out of the water, all of them seemed to be shooting straight up from different areas of the ocean. One happened to crush the raft. I shivered, looked around me and felt something bump into my elbow. A cell-phone. Just what I needed, a fucking cell-phone.

There was no signal.

End.

RE: My Cloverfield story - CLOVER "In the eyes of Teddy"

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*eats small child*

RE: My Cloverfield story - CLOVER "In the eyes of Teddy"

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What do you think about the short story? Comments? What did you like about it, or dislike about it?

RE: My Cloverfield story - CLOVER "In the eyes of Teddy"

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great story Pr0! if it was made into a book i would definitely read it man

RE: My Cloverfield story - CLOVER "In the eyes of Teddy"

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Thanks, but this only proves that my writing skills are a bit rusty. I'll write up a better story when I get the chance, and when this forum possible comes back to life. Thanks for the feedback, though.

RE: My Cloverfield story - CLOVER "In the eyes of Teddy"

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I'll definitely check out your story eventually ... just still behind on my chasing of the old ARG stuff, so never got to the Jamie and Teddy site yet, so don't want to find spoilers in your story. Of course saying that sounds kind of weird, but it's because of how I am. XD

Summoner Yuna...