Hey all. Yooka is back. I return to give you two things; an unbiased review from a literary/cinematic perspective, and my impressions on a more personal level. Expect a helluva lot of reading. However, I will not be offended if you skim. :)

I was fortunate enough to work at a place that lets off early thanks to the good Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King. That is why I saw the movie during the day, and am able to get this review out to you super early. As the title suggests, I will clearly label when the spoilers are a-comin’!!!

I was also thoughtful enough to go with friends, and to have a bit of good ole’ Irish whiskey in me during the film. So that even if the odds and ends I picked up accidently from the commercials and the internet proved true, at least the evening wouldn’t be totally ruined for me. For all you young, budding alcoholics out there, I cannot emphasize enough how much I recommend flasks for a truly wonderful theater experience. However, since the buzz is still with me, I also much apologize for any extraneous rambling, or careless spelling or grammatical errors. Also, the spellchecker is giving me an XML error. Stupid spellchecker.

I also want to take this opportunity to thank Jordan for keeping up with the site during my exodus. From what little I’ve read, you’ve experienced first hand why I left. I hope no one spoiled it too bad for you. I also want to compliment you on being “teh lil’ hotness”.

K. On to the movie. No, no spoilers just yet. I’ll tell you when.

The first half hour or so was exactly what the beginning of the first trailer let on. It was a well-done camcorder collage of a love affair. The great thing about this stile of filmmaking is that it doesn’t demand very much of the actors, and I think that shows through. The party, and all the Rob & Beth “lubbie dubbie” stuff feels real enough because, basically, they are just being themselves. It gets the job done, much like the opening minutes of Blair Witch. I recommend those who haven’t yet seen it to allow themselves to put themselves in their shoes from the get go. Get personally involved, mentally immerse yourself in the high school-ish drama, and imagine that you are in their place. Pretend you are that male or female (whicever floats your boat more). You’ll get more out of the movie, and little curveballs that the director will throw at you will be more effective down the road.

Oh, I feel ashamed that I haven’t said it yet… but you simply must see this in theaters. It’s a good movie, but out of theaters, it loses most of the effect, (again) much like Blair Witch.

Alright, from this point forward…. Here Be Spoilars!!! Aaaargh!!

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Maybe it’s because I practically memorized the first trailer, but I was stilll surprised by the first signs of the monster. Much of what is in that trailer never made it to the final cut. I believe that to be a smart decision from the filmmaker. I found myself looking at the lady liberty’s head before I knew what was happening. And to the credit of the director, you stray far from the initial trailer with over an hour left in the film.

You find that the characters have more than enough opportunity to leave New York City, but because Rob gets a call from Beth, they work there way back into (the new) “Ground Zero”. Think about that from a writer’s perspective for a second. You have a catastrophe. And realistically, Godzilla can only take out so many people. Humans - even in NYC - have a tendency to evacuate. The Cloverfield Monster does not kill all New Yorkers. Far from it.

The filmmakers also do a great job of acknowledging that New York City has a subterrainian landscape unlike all but a handful of cities in the world. It’s quite possible that there are thousands of tunnels that stretch miles in all directions under Manhattan Island, as we’ve been tunneling here since the 1800’s, and basically never stopped. The monster, somehow, has a plan of attack here too, as the “parasite” rumors come to fruition in the subway tunnels under Manhattan. Long story short: Everyone gets away from the big monster, and his spider-like offspring. But it turns out the spiders have a vampire/zombie/Sigourney-Weaver’s-Alien’s-like trait to their bites… and a cast member dies horribly because of it. Honestly, I didn’t see this coming. This also gives a good reason as to why the monster targets NYC - plenty of fresh hosts for it’s babies.

At this point, we are suprisingly low on cast members. We are rewarded for turning back (and away from safety) as miraculously, we do find Beth. In trying to find safety afterwards, we lose everyone but Rob and Beth, though the do compensate us by great shots of the monster. Great. Shots. Thankfully, I was not spoofed, the monster did not look like The Iron Giant. It looked good. If you want more detail, you’ll have to see the film, because I’m not sayin’ any more. :)

The ending is good, in that it follows logically from what has already happened. It is also somewhat ambigious. In this wat, it reminds me of the Matrix sequels, and I won’t be suprised if it disappoints people. The final outcome of the monster is not immediately known after all is said and done. A round of carpet bombing succeeds in aggravating the monster, but hours later (after daybreak), it is still shown that the nation is taking extremely aggressive measures. Also, the survival of Rob and Beth is also unknown, as they take adequete shelter for the camera to survive, but they leave room to believe that they may or may not have made it.

In closing, let me say two last things. First, about the ending. Some will probably say that they flash of light was a large bomb to annhiliate the beast. That is true, but I highly doubt it was The Bomb. And if it was, they didn’t do their homework. The flash is large, but it is orange, not white. All accounts of atomic bombs involve white light. I don’t know if Rob and Beth lived through everything, but I know for sure that they weren’t obliterated in a Hiroshima like shock-wave.

Secondly, and less to do with plot interpretation, I want to say that this was a movie that was totally up my alley, and I hope many others can say that too. I am a child of the camcorder generation. If you were to rob my parent’s house, you (hopefully) wouldn’t find any lewd sex tapes, but you would find mortifying recordings in the form of a six-year-old Yooka in his E.T. footsie zip-up pajamas, whacking himself in the head with his trusty cardboard base from a used roll of paper towels, eagerly counting the seconds till Christmas by the “thonk-thonk-thonk” sound he made with it. I was a weird kid, and every foible is caught on tape. So yeah, I can never run for president. :)

I relate, and inject myself in personal, unpolished, home-video recordings. It was half of the reason Blair Witch hit me so hard. Psychologists also say it’s the reason why “reality” TV shows do so well in the US, despite the fact that most of them are God-awful. However, Cloverfield is far from God awful. The acting is good. The effects are great. The plot is good, but no extraordinary. However, if you are like me, and you award extra points for having all the ducks line up in a row, and still be initeresting, then maybe you’ll say that the plot is great. The bottom line is that 20 years from now, I know I can show the movie to kids (hopefully mine), and tell them that this is why the should watch out at wild parties, and I know I will totally freak the fuck out of them, because they won’t see any of the monster stuff coming, and they will have already related to the characters, and it will be too late for them to be cynical, and not care. Cloverfield is a good enough movie to pull you in if you don’t already know what it’s about. And it’s good enough to welcome you into it, and not burst the thinnest bubble of belief-suspension if you are willing conjure it for your own enjoyment. It’s as realistic as a Godzilla movie could possibly be, while avoiding obvious lulls.

But like I said before, see it in theaters, while the sound and spectacle surrounds you, because clearly, this is a movie where the star isn’t a human, or a CGI monster. The star is self-immersion itself.